Chronicles of Frog to Prince

Office Social Dynamics

I’ve been horrible at office social dynamics, and because I knew I’m awful, I avoid as much social contacts as possible. The result? Suicide!

While I want to just get the job done and go home, it’s not the ideal way of the office. Rereading this post definitely help a lot. The first time I read this, I think I was on the verge of quiting my first office job so I didn’t really apply it. Now I think the advice is very solid, I tried once, to do 80% of the talking with one of the co-worker I barely talk to and knew I have issues, it worked, the situation is less awkward.

While I’ve been dishonest with myself and fleeting from problems and responsibility, I realize there’s something call social obligations to fulfill. Once I achieve certain reputation, people are gonna expect something from that reputation, and it could be useful in certain situations. While in the past, I’m too aloof to care, I just live my own pace, which is why I rarely have social momentum, people are not sure if I’m interested in them so they didn’t bother. I start to understand why my friends do certain things  even though they were reluctant. Eg: Repeating the accident story for the whole morning 10 times.

I also realize, I could achieve the frog prince magic within days only, and as time pass by, my magic unfold and I’ll still be the frog. I knew exactly what to do to be great with people I’m interested, but once I got not so enthused, I just drop everything and that’s bad for responsibility, obligation and bad for people’s feeling.

I just suck at relationship. That’s gonna be one of my sticky points I’ll focus on.

The Name Card

So every since I got a name care. I start distributing them and little do I know I could keep in touch with girls I pickup too.

FR1

I met this girl in the plane, and I talk to her out of boredom, she wouldn’t respond at first so I keep trying different ways until she told me she’s not very good in English. So I try my Malay and things went pretty well. She told me her dad was working with very famous rich guy in town, and my first thought was, “ka-ching, let’s sell her insurance!”

Anyway, at some point of the interaction, I gave her my card, I didn’t think it was possible to met her again so I didn’t get her number. Out of my expectation, she texted me at night, and we vibe some more, it was great and I met her again in next day at the airport.

FR2

This girl, work at the perfume store at the airport, I walk in to talk about perfume, she mistaken me for flirting when I ask about I want something seductive, confident and smooth. I don’t remember why I gave her my name card, beside wanting to sell her insurance, she did text me after a few days and we keep in touch.

FR3

Met this cute girl at work, first time I lay my eyes on her I think she’s beautiful. She was there for an interview with other people and I was on my way to do something, only made eye contact with her at this point.  I met her again while she was waiting out side of the building for her ride, I wasn’t thinking anything when I see her, I just say “how’s your interview” and the conversation goes back and forth. When she’s about to leave, she ask for my name and I give her my card instead. I saw her holding my name card when she was sitting on the motorcycle, I was definitely waiting for her to contact me again. She text me after a few days. =) Went on a few dates with her and things are great.

Money vs Life

For me to jump into the world of sales, is to challenge my worst trait. Persuasion.

And also, a temper for my patience, my values in life, my relationship with the people around me, my goals and dreams.

It was a long and rough journey, I sacrifice much. I learn many.

For one, I learn that, I have so much drive and energy to do so many in one day, only if I made plans and put them in actions. Without alignment of my values, I have 0 charm with people. And because I can’t be myself, who will dare to put their trust on me?

2. I learn that, not many people in my hometown can say no to another person. Most will just say later, without any changes in tone or body language, which is a code really hard to decipher .

3. I learn a lot about finance; Multi level marketing, fixed deposit, unit trust, saving plans, direct sales, insurance. I’ve took a peak in all. Each with their own pros and cons, people could really earn a vacation through these.

4. It’s really hard to teach social dynamics. My boss gave me wonderful advise, and they all contradict sooner or later. They were rarely specific. (or maybe she was waiting for me to ask)
If I humble myself and lower my standards, people will fuck with me. Then my boss will tell me, “you must appear confident and let the client feel you’re one hell of an agent.”
If I held my head high, and try to stand tall, I scare people away with my desperate struggle. And my boss will quote Dale Carnegie “There’s no point in winning an argument.”
Then I learn that, you can argue all the way when it comes to product, and when it’s something else, leave it be.

It’s obvious that this job is killing me. It definitely doesn’t suit my nature, which includes, being daring, bold, and over the top. How much I will bow for the sake of money? I don’t know. How much do I need to kill myself for the sake of money? I don’t know.

A lot of the things contradicts to what I spend years of sweat and tears to learn and achieved.

For instant, I can use silent as an advantage in a casual conversation (to create desired tension, pause or just slowing down) but in sales, silents can never stand by my side, it create awkward situation and it shows that I’m not a skilled sales person and with poor presentation and lack of description and experience.

In a casual setting, conversation is about a process, to genuinely get to know a person, but in sales, everything have a goal, every action have a reason, and behind a question is always a lead to something desired. I learn that honesty is the best way to create a connection, while honesty itself is a good deed that takes guts, it can also kill a sales opportunity. I can never tell people I just start as an insurance agent.

Without alignment, without my fangs and claws, do I grow new ones or do I starved? I don’t know.
As for my coming birthday, I have yet to figure out what to do. As least the idea I still have is giving more.

And life is good, some people remember to greet me good morning daily =)

Effortless charm

Aka seducer’s aura from THE GAME.

In this journey, I have multiple reference point to this phenomena. While previously I didn’t understand how to redo this, nowadays, it’s something that’s always on.

Here’s an except I could find in THE GAME

“For some reason, I was on
fire. It was just one of those nights. Every woman’s eye was on me. A redhead
who was there with her fiance even slipped her number into my
pocket. I figured this must be what they call seducer’s aura: I was emanating
something special.”

While I don’t have any redhead slipped number into my pocket. I believe I’m entering a new realm. The world of hot girl.

Imagine I’m an equivalent object of the hottest girl in the room. The rules are different, and I’m being treated differently.

People are a little friendlier than before, girls move in a little bit closer, the world seems a little bit better. However, to enable this spell, there are 2 core requirements.

Believing in my own values, owning them.
And
Align my life to my purpose.

Work, Income, Finance

Once again, at the end of a year, I made a big leap.

In 2008, I quit the job I always wanted since I was studying diploma, it wasn’t what I imagined when I have it, and I didn’t realize, IT IS the job until I quit it few weeks later.

2009, I tried a few things, working in boutique as sales assistant, went University in a quiet town, crazy adventures with dating and at the end of the year, I decided to quit my degree.

I never was responsible for my financial status ever since I start working, I didn’t care for the long run, my life was just about what’s tomorrow for me.

So I become an insurance agent. I wanted to try this. I was never good at persuading someone, I rarely argue, most of the time, in fact, I never really bother. And according to Dale Carnegie’s law, “HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH HIM. HE WHO CANNOT WALKS A LONELY WAY”, if I couldn’t arouse an eager of want in the other person, I’m gonna walk a lonely path, and I did. I have so much good things and great things to share. But I don’t even try, I simply just walk away if people are not interested. That’s why my life didn’t prosper, even though I got the strength to talk to random girls, I’m still running away, from commitment.

This job will be my first ever job that I’m gonna work hard and be responsible for my financial status. I made a goal to achieve a monthly income of 3k, deadline on June 30 2010. I also decided another target to complete in the year of 2010. To achieve blackbelt in hapkido.

So Why insurance?

Of all the things, why insurance? I don’t really know myself, I don’t have a grand nor solid reason. I didn’t even decide the time to join, I was hoping to finish my 2 books “art of seduction” and “awaken the giant within” then decide what to do with life.

Here’s what really happen. I pick up the phone and ask my friend, “get me in the insurance company” So I attend the motivation workshop, and one of the agent who appear close to my friend told me to come in the morning. So I thought “oh another motivation lessons, let’s try new stuff and meet new people” And I did went there in the morning, understand nothing what they’re talking nor doing at all. And when it’s over, the girl (agent) just drop me some forms and other form like interview questions. She just ask me to do it with a smile. And I was like WTF when I read the papers. When you have pen and paper on your hand, I don’t’ know what you guys will do, for me, I just work on it. Took me less than 3 seconds to decide to be an agent and I say “let’s do it” in my head.

And off I went through one of the most stressful days of 2009. Half of the morning I wake up, missing the days of day dreaming and catching butterflies like how spongebob catch jellyfish, the other half I curse myself for waking up so early and not even sure what I’m doing. The first few mornings were the hardest, I actually replay Rocky Balboa’s motivation speech in my head “It’s not about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward”

And I just keep moving forward to shower and change while I talk shit in my head. The best part about these mornings are, I get the feeling I’m gonna own the world. A feeling I never had in my previous jobs.

Some days I felt like quiting, like “dude, let’s go catch some butterflies, chase skirts, get 7 gfs” On those days, it was hard, but I just shut up and not complain, and told myself, let’s try another day.

I definitely become much more proactive and aggressive in life. Other qualities, take times to develop. We’ll see.