How far I’ve travel

Tonite, me and a dota friend talk about the old days. The good ol days. And of course matching up stories, like the sitcom series How I met Your Mother where they match the stories eg: Barney thought Ted help him get a chick’s number, but in reality, Ted told the chick Barney is a liar, and told her to give him a fake one.

Tonight, we match our stories, and I must say, some things just aint pretty for me. Which, leave me ponders, about how much I’ve changed since 3-4 years ago.

If my happiness is just about 1 person, then I will rot as a zombie along with the department of that 1 person.

IF my life, is about that 1 person, that I too, will die along with the loss of that one dearest.

Before I get on to the main topic, let me bring you all back to another intro. You see, years ago, where I start to wonder about dating, my sister told me, if you want to bring a girl to date, you have to drive her, pay for everything. I then told one of my buddy, “You know, when I go on dating, I won’t be paying everything.” But he too, told me, it’s impossible for that to happen, here in Asia. “That only works in western country” My dad always reminds me that statement when I was practicing a sandwich handshake with my younger sister as a way to approach. I haven’t try it in the field, yet.

So you see, I always admire the western social life. How they can have confrontation and not leave it awkward. How they can calling it out and not make people lose face. From the society I’ve grown up, in movies, what I see in asians is all about ego. What is so important with ego.

It sure is a long road when I look back, how much I’ve grown inside and outside. Where shall I begin?

When I read The Game, I realize, I finally found the men I’ve been looking for whole my life. And also the tools, to realize the so call impossible dating ways.

I worship the knowledge and the people, dreamt of the same lifestyle they went. Their success, their hardwork, their price. I want it all.

And this journey, brought me to travelling, to Kuala Lumpur, and my favourite country, Singapore.

What I can say is. This is my muse, my dream, none I knew back then, approved it, none validated this dream. When I realize it, here, in Kuching. It sure ruined people’s head. Shaken their reality, just like mine, years ago.

I’ve learn that, moneytary, do little in gaining attraction. Looks is important, but not the way, we were thought it is to girls. I’m not sure about others, I’ve been looking at many couples together, the guy isn’t rich nor good looking.

I’ve also learn the art of being direct, to be man, to express my intentions. I sure wasn’t rich when I ask a cute girl to have lunch with me. I’ve seen her before, I wasn’t confident when I talk to her, I was inner fucked up, stillt trying to recover THE trauma. And still, she did join me for lunch because I ask her to.

To be inside, is also to learn what’s myth, and what’s possible. A real life fight, isn’t something like KOF. I also learn the myth, the hard way. It was one of the PUA main selling point, to be able to seduce anyone, anywhere. Well… I find explaining is a wasted addition.

I’m gonna admit, while I gain the ability to make women happy, to influence her emotions, I made mistakes and hurt a few. I apologize for that, yet, given a chance to do it again, I’ll still walk the same path.

I’ve been a hermit whole my life, primary school, middle school, college, I give up all my chances to be social and to learna bout social intuition. This definitely hurt my ability to maintain any relationship. While I know I’m getting good with seduction, I also realize, I’m a horrible friend.

I learn to screen. Instead of just taking what’s given, I learn to judge and make a decision. I start to understand why some people never got the chance to make silly mistakes, while others, kept having “bad luck”. Why some people just manage to do the right choice at the right time. That happened one day, and all I ever did, was being aware of my surroundings. Eg1: Good food doesn’t come from dirty stall.
Eg2: A girl who plot for revenge, just because she was hurt by a player, just to get her justice, is not someone I want to hang out with.

While I couldn’t find better people, at least I kept those I don’t deem worthy away. My life wasn’t at it’s worst.

Martial art, sex, adventures. They are there because I made it. I live for myself, all I’m doing is making myself happy, THEN I make other people happy.

I’ve been told I’m selfish, which is great, because I’ve been selfless whole my life. And when they say selfish, they are actually saying “You know what you want and how you want to get it, but you didn’t include me in your fun”

And I’ve also meet my 100% perfect girl. We only made eye contact, intense eye contact and I felt alot. And I think she’s the most beautiful girl, I’ve ever met, even though my co-worker don’t think so. I’ve thought of talking to her, I’ve the image of walking, saying “You are beautiful, who are you” And when the moment to act, I was half a man. She deserve more, the best.