Money vs Life

For me to jump into the world of sales, is to challenge my worst trait. Persuasion.

And also, a temper for my patience, my values in life, my relationship with the people around me, my goals and dreams.

It was a long and rough journey, I sacrifice much. I learn many.

For one, I learn that, I have so much drive and energy to do so many in one day, only if I made plans and put them in actions. Without alignment of my values, I have 0 charm with people. And because I can’t be myself, who will dare to put their trust on me?

2. I learn that, not many people in my hometown can say no to another person. Most will just say later, without any changes in tone or body language, which is a code really hard to decipher .

3. I learn a lot about finance; Multi level marketing, fixed deposit, unit trust, saving plans, direct sales, insurance. I’ve took a peak in all. Each with their own pros and cons, people could really earn a vacation through these.

4. It’s really hard to teach social dynamics. My boss gave me wonderful advise, and they all contradict sooner or later. They were rarely specific. (or maybe she was waiting for me to ask)
If I humble myself and lower my standards, people will fuck with me. Then my boss will tell me, “you must appear confident and let the client feel you’re one hell of an agent.”
If I held my head high, and try to stand tall, I scare people away with my desperate struggle. And my boss will quote Dale Carnegie “There’s no point in winning an argument.”
Then I learn that, you can argue all the way when it comes to product, and when it’s something else, leave it be.

It’s obvious that this job is killing me. It definitely doesn’t suit my nature, which includes, being daring, bold, and over the top. How much I will bow for the sake of money? I don’t know. How much do I need to kill myself for the sake of money? I don’t know.

A lot of the things contradicts to what I spend years of sweat and tears to learn and achieved.

For instant, I can use silent as an advantage in a casual conversation (to create desired tension, pause or just slowing down) but in sales, silents can never stand by my side, it create awkward situation and it shows that I’m not a skilled sales person and with poor presentation and lack of description and experience.

In a casual setting, conversation is about a process, to genuinely get to know a person, but in sales, everything have a goal, every action have a reason, and behind a question is always a lead to something desired. I learn that honesty is the best way to create a connection, while honesty itself is a good deed that takes guts, it can also kill a sales opportunity. I can never tell people I just start as an insurance agent.

Without alignment, without my fangs and claws, do I grow new ones or do I starved? I don’t know.
As for my coming birthday, I have yet to figure out what to do. As least the idea I still have is giving more.

And life is good, some people remember to greet me good morning daily =)