Of life and scars

There was this quote from a Chinese writer “Are you filled with experience of a thousand battle or are you full of scars and pain?” When I came across the quote, I immediately answer I’m the first in my head. But to be honest, my life, even feeling/being smarter than most, my life is unfortunately, the latter.

An antisocial life, it had started a long time, the habits, the hobbies, maybe since forever.

I just finish reading The Game by Neil Strauss after owning the imitation leather copy within days. Perhaps what makes social robots and me cold and analytic, is our scar and the inability to feel failure again.

Instead of being out there, feeling the moment, I decided to play safe, being the one watching everything, analyse. Instead of being true to my own emotions, I blame that it’s my imperfection of social skills that couldn’t get me better in my social life.

I just feel like writing, it’s time to jump into the rabbit hole again.